Carah's Circus

another amazing blog with MPPS

camp writing poem

| 3 Comments

The SLIDE

We were at Questacon

Going into different galleries

Confused, excited and full of happiness

But the most impressive thing was the slide!

 

So big and tall

Dangerous and scary

Fun and exhilarating

Not your average slide!

 

Tall and goes straight down

But…It’s got a bend at the end

Waiting in line to go on the ultimate slide

Waiting… a very long long time

 

They hand me a big orange suit

They said “put it on!” even though it’s very lose

So saggy but so bright

It almost gave me a fright

It did not smell or feel quite right

 

Watching tons of people fly down

They called me up to the precarious height

Up the raggety stair case

To the top of the empire state spire

 

It was my turn

So I sat down on the little bench

Put my hands on the bar

Lifted myself down

Looked down at the crowd below

Took a deep breath and

DROPPED!!!

 

It was so fun

It was so so so fun

It made my so happy

I want to go on it again

3 Comments

  1. Hi Carah,
    I think you put a lot of effort into the poem and I liked how you didn’t rhyme because as Ant said at school it’s only one technique you can use so it was great that you explored some other ways to write a poem. You could work on your vocab and fluency of the poem. You might want to have a look at using some more sophisticated adjectives to describe your nouns more accurately. Also to keep your verses flowing so they’re easy to read and make it sound better.
    Great Job!
    Charlie

  2. hi carah, that was a good poem and camp reflection. was that your first poem? if it was it was really good.
    Mietta 🙂

  3. Awesome work Carah! You did an amazing job at your poem. Better then I would. You did a really good job!!
    Xx Phoebe xX

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