The SLIDE
We were at Questacon
Going into different galleries
Confused, excited and full of happiness
But the most impressive thing was the slide!
So big and tall
Dangerous and scary
Fun and exhilarating
Not your average slide!
Tall and goes straight down
But…It’s got a bend at the end
Waiting in line to go on the ultimate slide
Waiting… a very long long time
They hand me a big orange suit
They said “put it on!” even though it’s very lose
So saggy but so bright
It almost gave me a fright
It did not smell or feel quite right
Watching tons of people fly down
They called me up to the precarious height
Up the raggety stair case
To the top of the empire state spire
It was my turn
So I sat down on the little bench
Put my hands on the bar
Lifted myself down
Looked down at the crowd below
Took a deep breath and
DROPPED!!!
It was so fun
It was so so so fun
It made my so happy
I want to go on it again
August 21, 2016 at 7:28 am
Hi Carah,
I think you put a lot of effort into the poem and I liked how you didn’t rhyme because as Ant said at school it’s only one technique you can use so it was great that you explored some other ways to write a poem. You could work on your vocab and fluency of the poem. You might want to have a look at using some more sophisticated adjectives to describe your nouns more accurately. Also to keep your verses flowing so they’re easy to read and make it sound better.
Great Job!
Charlie
August 22, 2016 at 10:02 am
hi carah, that was a good poem and camp reflection. was that your first poem? if it was it was really good.
Mietta 🙂
August 23, 2016 at 7:50 am
Awesome work Carah! You did an amazing job at your poem. Better then I would. You did a really good job!!
Xx Phoebe xX